A Decision Inspired by Family
Carole and David had always thought about becoming foster carers, but it was a difficult time in their family’s life that finally pushed them to act. Their daughter was 12 when she was diagnosed with cancer, and when she recovered it gave the family a new perspective on what mattered most.
“We realised life is too short. If there is something you want to do, you have to get on with it.”
Welcoming Shawn Home
Although they hadn’t initially planned to foster a child with additional support needs, a newspaper article about drug abuse and children in need stirred something in Carole. “I thought, these kids are innocent. We have to help.” Soon after, they welcomed five-year-old Shawn into their home. He was a wee boy with complex needs, a mountain of unmet needs and no way to communicate.
Building Communication and Trust
What followed was a journey that required commitment, patience and resilience. “I was told that Shawn would never sign, but I was determined. We all were,” says Carole. The whole family learned sign language and slowly, Shawn began to communicate and build trust. Today, while not fluent, he confidently expresses himself and identifies as part of the deaf community.
Sourcing the right support was not always easy. In those early days, Shawn was angry and frustrated. Carole says they had to fight for Shawn’s autism diagnosis, because sometimes a diagnosis is the only way to access the help a child needs.
Support Every Step of the Way
Support, says Carole, has been essential. Carole and David, supported by Carole’s mum, went through a rigorous six-to-nine-month assessment process before becoming foster carers. “It gave me faith in the system,” Carole says. “It’s a big responsibility, and it showed me that not everyone is handed a child. There are good reasons for the procedure being in-depth.”
Carole also immersed herself in training, attending every course she could. She wanted to be as prepared as possible and was grateful that support and funding were made available when she needed them.
Moving into Adult Services
One of the biggest hurdles came when Shawn turned 18, with little guidance on moving from children’s to adult foster services. Even their social worker was unsure of the next steps, but Carole was clear about one thing: Shawn was staying with them.
“All I knew for sure was he wasn’t leaving us.”
The first challenge was financial, as Shawn’s foster payment dropped sharply and Carole took on a part-time job to help keep the family going. The second was finding the right route forward. They later connected with North Ayrshire Council, which supported Shawn until he turned 21, but adult services were still ahead.
Despite having fostered Shawn for 17 years, Carole and David had to start the approval process again to continue supporting him as an adult.
Finding the Right Long-Term Support
Thankfully, Carole knew about Quarriers, and Shawn had used Quarriers’ Mavisbank Respite Service. Contacting Quarriers made sense.
Quarriers helps young people stay with the carers who know them best. Our seamless service supports foster carers to re-register as adult placement carers, allowing those relationships to continue into adulthood.
For families who have fostered children and young people through another agency, we provide specialist support to make the move into adult services easier. “Once we spoke to Quarriers, I knew we’d found the right people,” says Carole.
“Quarriers had the training and support we needed, and we could put down roots.”
Thriving as a Young Adult
Today, Shawn is thriving. He attends Sense Scotland and Hayfield, a support service for deaf adults. He swims, horse-rides and plays cricket. “At first I had to stand by him, signing everything,” says Carole. “Now I can step back. He enjoys it so much.”
Carole says the change in Shawn has been extraordinary. “When he first came to us, he was so frustrated. Now he’s cheerful, helpful, just lovely.
Family life has had its chaotic moments too. Carole remembers holidays when people would stare, but she learned to face it, smile and educate others. Shawn, she says, touches people’s hearts. Even though he cannot speak, and others cannot sign, he always finds a way.
Carole’s Advice to Future Foster Carers
For anyone considering fostering, Carole has this advice: “It’s like a rollercoaster. This isn’t something you just dip your toe into. You have to immerse yourself. And I always stress that you must ask for help when you need it. You’ll need support, but it’s so worth it.”
Carole and David’s daughter, now 31, grew up seeing Shawn as her little brother. “We worried about how it would affect her, but she’s been amazing. She’s learned so much.”
Reflecting on their journey, Carole says, “I never thought we’d take in a child with disabilities. Now, I can’t imagine life without him. The joy, the growth, it’s been incredible.”
Could You Make a Difference?
If Carole, David and Shawn’s story has inspired you, find out more about fostering with Quarriers and the support available to help children, young people and adults thrive in a safe, caring home.
Interested?
The first step is to contact us for an informal chat.
Fostering: [email protected]
Fostering children under 16-years-old
Shared Lives: [email protected]
Shared Lives support for people aged 16 or over.
